Ecivres Lanoitan is a rite of passage for the males of the Eropagnis. The boys of Eropagnis undergo this long, drawn out ritual typically during their 18th to 20th year of life. Ecivres Lanoitan is considered by many as one of the most physically torturous period of their lives. Through the use of elaborate ceremonies, rituals and magic, the innocent boys of Eropagnis are molded into men of war.
Upon coming of age, the boys would be forceably removed from their familes, shepherded away from the mainland and on to the foreboding island of Gnoket Ualup. Any refusal to go through with the rite of passage will invite the harshest of punishments from the Fednim, a powerful authority that oversees the defences of Eropagnis. Once on the island, the boys will be under the control of numerous powerful Warlocks and less powerful Mages who adhere to a strict hierarchy of power. The first of many Men of Magic the boys will encounter on the island is the Chief Warlock, Rednammoc. The Rednammoc casts a spell via a large magic mirror that causes the boys to enter into a collective consciousness and chant the sacred vows as one. After this initiation rite, they are now known as a Stiurcer.
Next comes to ritual removing of all head hair. This is one of the most psychologically painful rituals to undertake as most boys of Eropagnis place great value on their hair. Utilizing a horrific creature of about eight inches long with rows of sharp teeth and long black tail of several feet, the hair is removed when the creature is pressed at the correct spot, rousing to a ravenous buzzing frenzy, violently chewing off any hair that comes too close to its teeth.
Everyday, Mages forcably wake the new Stiurcer before first light and the Stiurcer is expected to immediately perform an elaborate ritual they call Esicrexe, involving vigorous gesticulation, running about in large circles and chanting as one entity. This ritual is believed to improve the Stuircer powers in a fight and is not only carried out before first light but also at different times of the day. When the tropical sun is blazing at its hottest and brightest, the Stiurcer will be compelled to perform the Esicrexe dressed in a ceremonial attire which covers almost the whole body except the head with a kind of thick fabric, no doubt to increase the intensity of the torturous ritual as the fabric traps heat and impairs the body’s natural cooling processes. Esicrexe is considered one of the most dangerous rituals as there have been several cases of boys dying halfway through the ritual. This unfortunate situation is further compounded by the ostensible Healers who will not perform healing magic unless the Stiurcer shows obvious and distinct signs of being close to death, by which time it would have been too late to save the hapless boy.
Another bizarre ritual involve disassembling and assembling a large metal wand, which they use to kill other human beings. The Stiurcer would lay their metal wand on a piece of ceremonial cloth and with a sudden and violent stamp of their right feet, they would proceed to quickly but carefully deconstruct the metal wand and arrange the pieces in strict order. Failure to do so would result in the Stiurcer having to perform some form of Esicrexe as punishment.
There exists a nauseating ritual where the Stiurcer carefully cover their faces with odious green and black mud. This ritual is believed to imbue the wearer with powers of invisibility. Specific magical herbs are then chosen and arranged to form a sort of head dress which is believed to augment the power of invisibility.
Although most effects of the spells wear off upon their return to general Eropagnis society, the males retain a tendency to lapse into an animated confabulation whenever there are more than two of them in the same group. They would speak in an arcane tongue that no one else, especially the females, understands. This results in the oft-heard complaint among exasperated Eropagnis females, that the “males are always talking about Ecivres Lanoitan.”
Finally, a step forward for censorship in Singapore. I just watched Hangover (NC16) and lo and behold, scenes with breasts and dicks were left intact! I know it sounds trivial and bimbotic to rave about this but think about it, a few years ago movies like that would have been slapped with an R21 rating or mutilated so badly that the story-telling loses its rhythm. Just like in our neighbour up north.
A few days ago I decided to watch The Proposal up north and I nearly died when they cut out almost half of scenes in which Ryan Reynolds was naked. So I wish you good luck in your efforts to become a developed country by 2020 dear neighbour.
After a somewhat prolonged hiatus, I've decided I should start writing again lest my blogging skills (if you can it 'skills') be lost forever.
Ok, let's see...
Today at work, I came face to face with my first CB customer, or CBC for short. For the less-informed, CB stands for Chee Bye, the hokkien version of cunt. This CBC exhibited typical symptoms of most CBCs: acts like royalty, places her order at an almost inaudible volume, exhibits a FUF (say foof), meaning Fucked Up Face (term courtesy of Glenn), when you ask her to repeat because you couldn't make out what the fuck she just said.
So there, CB customer. But that wasn't all she did to earn her place as a CB customer, it's just that the rest needs too much tedious detail in order to explain properly. Really, where do these people come from? If I had the power of mind control, I would have mind-controlled her to go berserk right there and then and have her flash her boobs at anyone and everyone, and of course have photos of her inexplicable outburst online. Stupid slut.
Right, that's all for now. I feel much better already. :)
